Lacking confidence can negatively impact our lives. Without a healthy amount of it, we are less likely to take risks or pursue our goals.
No one is born confident, but some of us may have attained a healthy amount of self-esteem sooner than others due to growing up in an encouraging and nurturing environment. On the other hand, if we were criticized and ridiculed a lot as children, then it’s not unusual if we’re now struggling to build our confidence.
Lacking self-esteem isn’t uncommon. So many people deal with it, but some are able to work around it better than others. Whether you completely lack confidence or have just enough to fake it, these three tips will aid you in your confidence-building journey.
Do Things Outside Your Comfort Zone
A lot of times, we lack confidence when it comes to things we’ve never tried doing. Most things seem grander and more difficult in our heads than they actually are, so challenging ourselves to do them is crucial.
For example, if going out to eat alone sounds scary or too difficult for you, simply go out and do that. It might sound simple, but it can be very challenging for someone who lacks confidence as they may depend on others to order when going out to eat. Once you’ve successfully gotten through a challenge, you’ll have more faith in yourself in the future.
We all have those things that scare us or that we would like to avoid. Whatever it may be, going out of our comfort zones is a major first step to building our self-esteem. When we see that we were able to succeed, we will have the confidence to keep challenging ourselves even more. We don’t always have to take huge or dramatic steps to increase our confidence levels. In fact, taking small consistent steps is more effective, so challenge yourself every week if possible. It may be difficult at first, but it will help you learn to believe in yourself. We tend to underestimate ourselves too much.
Master Something: Build Confidence Through Skills
Sometimes, our lack of confidence may stem from lacking “success” in our lives. We all define success differently, but, I think we can all agree that being really good at something makes us feel successful.
We don’t have to go out and learn to master something major, it can be as simple as learning how to cook or even taking on a hobby like calligraphy. Whether it’s learning something new or getting back into something, do it consistently and master it.
When we have something we can be proud of, it can help us increase our self-worth and confidence. You don’t have to exactly be the ultimate calligraphy master, but master it well enough to have confidence in your skills.
Stop People Pleasing
If you’re a people pleaser, then it’s time to change that. Prioritizing other people’s happiness over your own can prevent you from developing any sense of self-worth.
When you’re constantly placing your own worth in how useful you are to others, it becomes almost impossible to build intrinsic self-esteem. Saying “no” more frequently is a great first step to stop people-pleasing.
If there’s something you don’t want to do, don’t feel obligated to do it or fear that you will be hated for not saying yes. Simply say no to anything you can’t/ don’t want to do. By not betraying yourself as well as putting your needs first, you’re making it a lot easier to recognize your own self-worth. This will also give you more time to focus on yourself and on building your confidence. There’s no better way to gain confidence than to know that you’re doing what’s best for yourself.
Confidence Doesn’t Happen Overnight
All these tips are effective, but they must be done with consistency. If you’ve lived with little to no self-esteem your entire life, why expect to build it overnight?
It doesn’t matter how long it takes you to build your confidence. What matters is that you’re progressing every day and taking a step forward rather than backward. If you feel like you can’t do it alone, ask someone trustworthy for help. There’s no shame in needing encouragement to try new things or to master a new skill.
Most importantly, constantly remind yourself of the benefits of increasing your confidence levels. You will find your motivation to achieve goals as well as your overall happiness increasing.
Exercise:
1- Create a list of things that are outside your comfort zone. Do at least one thing a week.
2- What’s a skill you’ve always wanted to master? Sign up for classes or create a schedule to dedicate time for you to practice.
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