Crucial Conversations – HappyTalks

In this video Alice and Donovon discuss the book Crucial Conversations, key takeaways and related stories. We discuss high-level conversational techniques and positional compared to goal-oriented negotiation. We speak about how to create better conversations, by focusing on our higher-level goal instead of a specific position.

Find The Third Path

In most situations, we can come up with a better third path. We also discuss the importance of respecting the other person and making them feel safe and comfortable in conversation. This is rooted in actually believing the other person has a reasonable view and can be negotiated with, instead of being intentionally hurtful. Everyone does what they think is right, for the most part. Trying to understand why makes a big difference.

Frame The Conversation

Another tactic is adding additional framing to the conversation. While it may seem like over-communicating, it helps clarify mistakes before they arise. Crucial conversations should be addressed early, otherwise the problem can compound and grow. We share stories about when this has happened to us in negotiation for business, personal, and other contexts. Returning to the shared goal can save us from degrading conversation.

We also discuss how fairness can push you away from resolving disputes even though the projected outcomes are fine for both people. Being stubborn can stop us from making progress, and extend the problem when solutions exist. Seeing only 2 options almost always weakens the negotiation. Always look for a third path and other options.

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