No One Is Happy All The Time


two happy people making dinner

Can We Be Happy All The Time?

You can’t understand how it’s possible. One of your co-workers is happy ALL the time. No, really. As far as you can tell, they’ve never once been upset, expressed a negative opinion, or frowned in their entire life. You’ve certainly never seen it and neither have any of your co-workers. Have they unlocked all the keys to happiness? Do they have a special disposition none of the rest of us have?

Let’s dig into this a little further. First, I’d contend no one is perfectly happy all the time. That may be disappointing, but it’s not realistic. Our emotions run on their own much of the time, mindfulness is difficult – complete control is a pipe dream. Constant happiness isn’t even a state worth striving for, mainly because it’s unrealistic but also because negative emotions have meaning. They are signals for us to listen to and make adjustments. 

The Happiest Person You Know

What about our co-worker though? They seem to have it all figured out. Perhaps they’ve got something extra, but I’d guess they’ve developed tools to rapidly shift their thoughts into useful states. While this comes more naturally to some than others, these tools can be taught and trained.

For example – if you spend time actively countering negative self-talk, eventually you’ll train your mind to redirect those thoughts quickly. Does that mean you’ll never have negative thoughts again? Probably not, but that negativity will only stay with you for a few minutes before you’re able to whisk it away. This is only one small example, imagine building hundreds of tools like this around your thoughts.

Even if it seems effortless in others, they’ve likely been training themselves in positivity – whether overtly or subconsciously. Let’s use physique as an example. Imagine if your co-worker was working a job requiring huge amounts of physical labour. They might have more muscle than you without consciously knowing what they were training. Positivity and happiness can work in the same way.

It’s OK To Not Always Be Happy

If you’re not happy all the time, don’t fret – none of us are. Even highly positive and happy people have negative thoughts and disturbing feelings. They may have more tools to dissolve those feelings or certain systems for preventing them from showing, but they still exist.

Don’t become defeated. Don’t compare yourself to how happy someone else is, or seems. Life ebbs and flows for all of us, as does happiness. Take solace in the fact there are absolutely ways you can become happier. I believe I’ve mentioned this before, but don’t worry about becoming ‘happy’ all at once. Work on small steps you can take to be a little happier each day. Happiness is an ongoing process for everyone and we continually chip away at it, improving as we go. Best of luck to you!


Exercise:

  1. Find the happiest person you know and ask them what things they do to keep themselves positive.

  2. Try one of their suggestions!


 

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